Step 1: Reduce Your Sexual Anxiety
If you go into sex thinking that you won’t last very long, you won’t. Sliding in with any sort of anxiety about your sexual abilities will make you cum much faster than you want to.
And if you consider it biologically, it makes sense. The insecurity makes you anxious. Your body can tell that you’re anxious. The anxiety suggests that this isn’t a very safe environment for you to be naked with your eyes closed and unprepared to defend against one of these.
So what does your body do when you’re anxious during sex? It reduces the amount of time you’re in a vulnerable state by subjecting you to either premature ejaculation, or erectile dysfunction.
The only cure is to approach sex with a confident, positive outlook on how you’re going to perform.
The best way to do that? Talk to your partner about it.
If you bring up your concerns about how long you’re lasting and that you want to work on it with them, they’re not going to think less of you. Rather, they’ll think higher of you for wanting to improve your sex life together, and want to work on it with you.
It’s nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, and you’ll find that just being open about it will solve half the problem on its own.
Step 2: Daily Exercises for Lasting Longer
There are only two things you need to do regularly to control premature ejaculation: kegel exercises and masturbation practice.
Exercise 1: Kegels and Reverse Kegels (less than 10 mins / day)
If you do nothing else in this article, do this.
The best way to improve your ejaculatory control is the strengthen the muscles that control ejaculation. Makes sense, right? You do that through kegel exercises, and reverse kegels, which train your pelvic floor muscles to help you control when you ejaculate.
Here’s what I want you to do:
- Get naked (I told you this would be fun).
- Put a finger or two on the skin between your legs behind your balls, but before your anus.
- Now imagine you’re trying to stop yourself from peeing. Flex that muscle. (This is also the muscle you flex to make your penis “dance” when it’s hard. Don’t give me that look, I know you’ve done it).
- You should feel some movement where you put your fingers, and you might feel movement in your penis and balls.
- Don’t flex your ass like you’re trying to show off your glutes, don’t flex your legs, and don’t flex your abs. Focus just on flexing that muscle.
- If you’re really having trouble finding it, then drink a bunch of water, go pee, and try to stop yourself. There it is.
Exercise 2: Masturbation & Edging (10-30 mins / day)
If you want to last longer, you have to start masturbating differently.
Many guys who have trouble lasting a long time have gotten themselves into bad habits from how they masturbate.
If you typically open the spank bank, go full jackhammer on your dick and finish up in a minute or two then yeah, you’re not going to have very much staying power with the real deal.